I Don't Hate Christians

I feel like I need to explicitly state this again because this blog can come off very very critical of Christians. Let me be clear: it is not Christians I hate, it's Christianity. It's the Bible. It's the ignorance of holding to dangerous and abusive attitudes and misconceptions and worldviews that I hate, and the damage these things can cause.

I don't apologize for anything I've written here. I meant it all. I have many reasons to detest the Bible on whole, yet there are certain parts of it I like which are very beautiful and even wise. And I do always try to qualify my statements with words like "some" when I talk about vile attitudes and behaviors I've dealt with from certain Christians.

Despite the problems with this faith, I do know many Christians who are kind, sincere, reasonable people on the whole. Some of my best friends are Christians. In fact, I'm married to a Catholic and I certainly don't hate him! We connect in many ways. We just don't connect on this.

The Bible is intolerant on whole, but some Christians are more tolerant than others. The Bible is hate-filled, but I've known many loving and patient people who claim to love it. I've seen Christians do good deeds, help people in need, go out of their way to be decent and good and charitable. There are Christians whom I am immensely grateful to, Christians who sacrificed a lot to be loyal and supportive friends to me even in my worst times. I know good Christians exist and I do love my Christian friends.

Additionally, I really do understand. Religion is a powerful temptation. I am angry at myself for the way I was in the past, as a devout Christian extremist. I WAS very ignorant, hateful, judgmental and self-righteous. And I think part of the reason I got that way was my own character. I have a tendency to become zealous, and it's something I need to dial down a notch or two. But there were so many people like me in certain religious groups, that way of thinking became hard to escape. And I know that many religious people aren't like that and are just looking for hope.

I'm not sorry for stating my beliefs and viewpoints. I've suffered long and hard for the tenets of Christianity, and it's caused me immense suffering that I never needed to go through. I'm not sorry for making fun of or outright condemning some religious texts for being cruel, irrational, prejudiced or ridiculous. Many passages are, and I think this is important information to share.

I'm not sorry for responding with disgust and anger at those who tell me I am evil because I don't believe Jehovah is a god. I am not sorry for responding with outrage when people tell me that I and people like me deserve to exist in endless torment because we don't agree with your view on god. Look at it from my perspective for a moment. Would you like to be told you are going to a hell for something you can't change? I can't believe in something that rings very false to me. And, although I don't believe in hell, I think the fact that you think I will go there is very rude.

I don't know if there is a god at all. I think it's highly unlikely and not necessary, but I also think it's a very complicated topic. I don't know all the answers and I don't claim to. But I do know this: I've rejected the story of Jehovah and his ilk. I don't owe him one single damn thing, and I don't respect him.

But if you are a good person, I do respect you even though we may sorely disagree on this matter. I certainly don't think that ALL Christians think deeply on what it is they actually believe about hell, or that they mean to treat me or anyone else unkindly.

I won't tell you how to live. While I don't believe in being "born again" I do believe in conversions. When people take it into their heads to change and try to improve their lives, they often succeed and I applaud that. If joining a church is your way of saying you are making positive changes in your life, your way of reaching out to other people in love, then I am not going to stop you. I just want you to think about what you say and do, why you say and do it, and what the consequences may be. Because I excluded and judged and really emotionally hurt people when I was a Christian, and seeing now how wrong I am, I'm disgusted with myself.

I won't tell you that you will die or burn if you don't believe like me. I will give you more courtesy than that and I certainly don't believe that. I won't insist upon anything other than that you use your own basic reason and compassion to form opinions and make decisions, as most people do when it really comes down to it. I ask that you look to science and logic, that you don't jump to conclusions about curses or miracles, that you respect and thank medical professionals and treat ALL people as valuable, not just those who believe and worship exactly the way you do. I know I can't change the way you think, but I can be an influence about that.

I do wish more people were Agnostic or Atheist because I believe we could get more done in the world, as we are doing, with huge medical and political advances, among other things. I would rather live here and now, in this country, than in Jehovah's "stone everyone to death" society any day of the week. I don't think anyone deserves that and I will continue to rail against that line of thinking.

I hate the Bible on whole. Despite a few interesting stories and histories, and a few words of wisdom here and there, it's a very dangerous and wrong-headed book. I'm not going to pick up and nuzzle a book that tells people to kill their own children. It is vile.

But I don't hate Christians. I understand. I tried VERY HARD for many years to justify all the wrong in the Bible, so as to continue loving my idea of a god. But my idea of a loving, kind, merciful god simply did not match up with the Biblical portrait of Jehovah. I understand that feeling of "knowing god" of being "close to god" of seeing the world in terms of right and wrong, good and evil, of seeing people as inherently worthwhile. I took a few good things from that faith, and there are things I miss. But the god I thought I knew then, wouldn't do the things that the Jehovah did, and I would not worship Jehovah.

But I do care about my Christian family and friends. I do agree with many of your morals and I will sometimes even be supportive of religious things you share which are wise or uplifting. We are all people, trying to do our best, not one of us better than another. I wish you all the best.

Who Would You Send to Hell?

In reference to the supposed great flood, you can't blame God for getting rid of the wicked people, or so I've been told. But if you're going by the Bible, you have to admit that God doesn't only kill "bad people" and he doesn't only send "bad people" to hell. Furthermore, he often turns a blind eye to truly evil behavior and calls that person "righteous."

If you were God, who would you send to hell? I personally wouldn't send anyone as I believe that falls under cruel and unusual punishment, but let's pretend for a moment that the very concept of hell is ever justifiable. When would it be justifiable? When someone murders children? When someone abuses children? When someone kills an entire tribe of people for no good reason? I think most of us can agree that those are the types of acts that might deserve hell if it were real.

But the God of the Bible doesn't see it that way. He personally murdered innocent babies and children and ordered the brutal deaths of a very long list of other oh-so-evil and dangerous folks such as fortune tellers, disobedient children, followers of other religions, homosexuals, atheists, people who have consensual premarital sex (something tells me this means a lot of you), people who work on the Sabbath, people who take the Lord's name in vain, people who are caught grumbling about their food, people who touch the tabernacle, and the list goes on and on. Not to mention, the Bible says exactly zilch against child abuse. In fact many child abusers have used Bible verses such as Proverbs 20:30 to justify their vile behavior. Additionally, child slavery was allowed and only lightly regulated in the Bible. (See: Exodus 21:7). Again, please don't preach to me about a God you don't understand with a book you haven't even read. Read it.

But that's the old testament, so we can pretend it doesn't matter even though it gives you a very good picture of who God really is. But the new testament makes it clear that salvation is by faith, and that it's only those who don't believe in the story of Jesus and his "holy sacrifice" who are supposed to go to hell.

What does this mean? It means that there would be many child killers and rapists in heaven. It means that someone could cheat on their wife, beat their children to death, have a little change of heart, say a special prayer, and spend all eternity in heaven along with slaveowners and vile men like Lot. While decent people like me and some of my Atheist friends will fry forever in hell. Sound fair to you?

I think that religious people often separate themselves from non-believers (when they aren't busy literally burning them at the stake, that is) because they don't want anyone to question their deeply held beliefs. In their minds they are the good ones and we are all evil. They have Jehovah's favor and forgiveness and love (kinda like an accomplice with codependent tendencies). It takes some really big mental gymnastic leaps to think that your atheist friends are so bad that they deserve to BURN FOR ALL ETERNITY in hell. So they try to convert us and when that doesn't work they often ignore us, avoid us, unfriend us, forget about us, attack our character to justify their own lies. It's rather heartless really.

Because to them the ultimate evil is a lack of faith in someone no one can even prove exists. Not cruelty. Not murder. Not rape. Not child abuse. The ONLY evil worthy of hell, to a Christian, is not believing in their God. If you are sorry for your "evil" deeds but don't believe in their idea of a god, that's not enough. If you are the worst person who ever lived but say a special prayer on your death bed and have a moment's conscience for your actions, well welcome to heaven! Does this sound good to you?

Why does this matter? Because the Bible has been used to marginalize and oppress already frequently targeted groups over the years. It has been used to justify slavery, spousal abuse, prejudice against immigrants (although there are in fact many pro-immigrant verses), and most notably prejudice against homosexuals. It is used to tear families apart and keep people living in guilt, shame, and fear. It is used to deny people proper treatment for their "vices" such as drug addiction, which, it turns out, can't be prayed away. It is used to strip people of rights and shut down productive conversations. And it's got to stop.

But I am relentlessly optimistic about this. I see that many people are waking up to the lies the Bible peddles. Acceptance of other lifestyles is growing. People are increasingly against corporal punishment and the death penalty. We are waking up, and we're evolving past these old ignorant ways of doing things in favor of proven results through science. We're starting to learn the factors which lead people to commit heinous criminal acts, and we have real hope of being able to prevent it in many cases. 

But let's get back to the flood for a second. Close your eyes and imagine what that might have looked like. We're meant to buy that it was a way for God to cleanse the world of people whose "thoughts were only evil all of the time" but in reality, the way the story actually goes, no one was saved except Noah and his immediate family. That means there were babies and children in that flood. That means there were parents desperately scrambling to save their little ones while God made the waters rise, people trying to save themselves while Noah told them to go to hell. Now open your eyes, and this image will no longer trouble you because it never happened. 

And tell me to go to hell if you wish. I'm not all that offended because your big bad boogeyman has long since lost the ability to scare me. I will tell you to go to the purple unicorn dimension because both are equally as likely to exist.

Make Heaven Now

Everyone said I would be "born again" as a Christian, and though I tried very hard for many years, it never happened. Some things in my life changed but I did not. I felt the same inside. I had the same struggles. But something is happening now. I've learned to appreciate the moment as if it were all I have...because it might be.

We can't wait for heaven, and we can't spend our days fearing hell. Mainly because there's no proof that either exist, and the gods of the major religions are so frightening that any place ruled by them is suspect. But there is another, vitally important reason. Because life is happening right now, and if we're not careful, we'll miss it. Because we don't have eternity with the ones we love. We have today.

To me, life is beautiful overall. It really is. I think that the idea of eternal life takes away from that. What if there was no thought of eternal life? Then there would be no talk of postponing justice, of hoping to make things right in the afterlife. Death would be seen as the utter tragedy it is and we would worker harder to prevent it. Poverty would be seen as the injustice it is and we wouldn't placate people with talk of golden streets in the afterlife.

There are no angels to take me when I die. The angels and devils here on Earth are enough to concern me.

There is a terrible joke that goes something like, "kill them all and let God sort them out" and though I hope that is not used often to justify violence, it gives me pause because it reflects an attitude that is troubling and false...the idea that the world is not in our hands. But it is. We could do so much if we only understood that and acted upon that understanding. But we don't have more time. We have today.

And I say we should fight for today. Make it count. Man your fights now. Fund your causes now. Love your friends and family now. If there is injustice anywhere, sort it out now. Say what you need to say. Fight evil now. If there is evil in this world, it is rooted from a lack of compassion and understanding and education. If there is unfairness and injustice in this world, we can't wait for angels or prayers. The angels have had their chance.

Make heaven now. Fill your life with wonders. Love like every moment matters...because it does. Strive to create a full life, a life well-lived and lived so hard and so thoroughly that death is no longer frightening because there is nothing left that you want to do anyway. Go out and try things. Take hold of your happiness and protect it, and don't let anyone take it from you.

Don't get me wrong, I think we should all plan and watch our health and save our money as though we were going to live very long lives, but no one can promise that. So spend time with your kids today. Do that project you want to do. Take that trip. Read that book. Create change. Make your lists of things that drive you, and go out and complete that list. The goal is to be able to look back with satisfaction on a life you can be proud of. It gets hard sometimes but there is always beauty to be found if you look hard enough, and a way to make little moments of heaven right here and now.

Once you realize that, even though it's hard sometimes, life only gets more beautiful.