Some people say religion is good and necessary because it gives people hope. I have not found religion to be necessary for this. Maybe you don't need as much reassurance as you think you do. Maybe you can find hope in this world, without seeking another.
People lean on religion to help them cope with life, but maybe you don't need a crutch at all. Maybe if you try standing up, you'll realize that your legs were stronger than you imagined.
Two of the most difficult things people face in life is their own mortality, and the loss of loved ones. This is often where people look to religion for meaning. The problem with this is, it usually isn't enough. I've seen a lot of people try to "keep their eyes on heaven" and force themselves to smile through their losses. But grief hurts in the here and now. There are several steps to grief, several stages one must move through in order to sort out and mentally organize all the feelings and thoughts involved in this process. It all takes time.
It's okay to feel angry. It's okay to feel sad. It doesn't mean you don't have any faith. But I think that faith isn't an important thing in these times (or really ever). I think the support of your friends and family is the most important thing, and perhaps just as important, is taking care of yourself.
My biggest fear as a mother is the loss of a child. I have been through pregnancy losses in the past and it was not easy. I coped with it in my own way at the time, by drawing closer to my family. I've often seen parents who've lost children putting their grief to work by taking up a cause in the name of their deceased child. Some of these people have done great things towards preventing illness and violence. They couldn't save their child, but they go on to save many others because of their search for meaning.
Eventually we will all face death. We're mortal, and we have the capacity both to know this and to cope with it. We don't have to live forever. We aren't meant to live forever. We have to go and make room for new life. We are meant to enjoy today, look back fondly on the past, try to make the best of the future. We are meant to try our best to live healthy, good lives. We can find hope and meaning in how we lived our lives, in the people we've touched and the things we've changed for the better along the way. We can take joy in the memories and moments we've experienced and the people we've loved. Life's meaning is what you make of it.
They say Atheism doesn't offer anyone comfort, particularly towards the end. But I think there is comfort to be found in banding together, in taking pride in your accomplishments. I think there is hope to be found in people who carry you with them after you go, and whose lives are changed because of you.
Because this is where my meaning is found. I don't rely on an afterlife for meaning or hope. I rely on the here and now, in trying to do things to make meaning and ease suffering now, to educate and share funny and happy times with people in my life here and now. I'm not waiting on a deity to settle the score or bring someone blessings. I believe in being a blessing and working to solve problems through reason and logic. I'm not perfect at this. I just have personally found that it's a satisfying way to live.
So I don't fear death nearly as much as I did when I was religious. Then my faith was always plagued by nagging doubts. Now I know that I have tangible reason to feel good about the life I've lead, to appreciate it as it happens. The fact that it isn't forever, doesn't mean it isn't any good. Now when I think of my death, I think about how lucky I've been to have had all the days and years and moments that I've had. I think about the people who have thanked me for advice. I think about my children and how hard I've worked to teach them how to be kind and honest and to care about things. Even if I were to die tonight, I'd be proud and happy with the life that I've had. I don't need forever.
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