One of the biggest beefs I have with religion is what it has done to the mentally ill. In the past, churches have burned people with anxiety disorders and schizophrenia at the stake. They have killed and injured them in exorcisms, trying to expel demons that don't exist. This one is still happening.
And what you'll see a lot nowadays in Christian circles is the idea that God can fill that "hole in your heart."
You know what's weird about that? I don't have a hole in my heart. I love my life. I love my family. I love my plans and goals for the future. I love my freedom. I see wonder and beauty all around me. But it wasn't always this way.
Because once, I was lonely and sad. Once, I suffered from major depression. And this went on for years, WHILE I was a Christian. The promises of a new life, a new heart, a new hope, of God coming to fill that hole in my heart, were promises I took seriously and wanted desperately. But it didn't happen.
The thing about church is that it, being a social gathering, can have some tangible psychological benefits. Having somewhere to go and feel like you belong can be a positive thing for someone who is a bit isolated. Having people to turn to with your troubles, even if just in a prayer meeting, fulfills a deep need for human connection and support. And that alone can sometimes make mental illness a little bit better.
The problem is that some people think the Bible is "sufficient" and has the answer to everything. The problem is that many Christians think psychiatry a useless and "ungodly" field. You won't find much Biblical evidence for any of the tenets of psychology. Because the Bible isn't a science book. It's a book that tells people to pray and have hope and believe. That's great for normal folks.
But when you have a serious mental illness, these things aren't enough. When you have a serious mental illness, you have a hole in your heart that just doesn't go away.
So you ask yourself, "Am I just not praying right? Am I not close enough to God?"
People ask you if there is some sin in your life that is dragging you down. They tell you that as a Christian you have every reason to be happy, and no business contemplating suicide. They bless your house, drop holy water on your head, "lift you up in prayer." It's nice that they try. But nothing changes. The pain doesn't go away. The fears don't go away. And then they get frustrated with you. And then they get mad.
If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that God doesn't want me to worry, I'd have a bag of nickels to smack someone with. Which I'd almost be tempted to do. Because someone with depression and anxiety can't just stop worrying. It doesn't work that way. It isn't a choice. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain that makes you feel bad, and your body and mood follow along.
But no one guilts you out of taking your psychiatric meds like a Christian can. God can heal you! God can take all your sorrows away! Just believe! Just have more faith! I'm so sorry you're sad, let me pray for you! You need to spend less time praying and more time in counseling with a trained professional. You need to spend less time reading your Bible for answers and more time taking your Zoloft.
If you want to fill that "hole in your heart" don't get right with "God". Get your brain chemistry right. Get out of the house. Set small, reasonable goals. Make friends. Go to a support group.
I saw an ad for counseling services online once that had probably a thousand comments from Christians saying that "Only Jesus can fill that emptiness inside!" Nope. If you feel empty inside, there is a good chance you have a psychiatric problem or personality disorder. There's no shame in that, and no shame in getting help.
One of the worst things I've seen is mentally ill Christians struggling day after day, year after year with symptoms that could significantly subside in as little as a week or two on the proper medications. It's truly amazing and heartbreaking to me how much stigma is inflicted on people who seek help for their mental health. Christians are typically smart enough to realize that you can't pray your physical ailments away, which is why they get their butts to the doctor when they're sick. But they don't seem to see mental illness as a real illness but rather a "spiritual sickness".
Here's a little exercise in logic I like to try. Take the spirituality out of it and see what's left. What can you treat and how can you treat it? In doing so, I have not once found spirituality to be necessary in treating anything. But I have found help and healing.
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